Thankful

This weekend I am reminding myself to be thankful.  I need to remember how blessed I truly am.  Sometimes I just need to be reminded over and over and over.  Mainly this weekend I am reminded by the thought of my brother.  A year ago on March 11th I spent a whole day not knowing if my brother, lovingly referred to by me and my kiddos as Zacky Poo, was alive. 

See a year ago my brother lived in Japan.  A year ago there was a 9.0 earthquake that struck Japan, the largest to ever strike Japan.  A year ago a a tsunami was triggered that reached heights estimated to be near 133ft high in one prefecture.  A year ago my phone rang maybe 20 minutes before my alarm was set to go off telling me to get up and pray.  A year ago I stared at an email my brother wrote me just minutes before the earthquake and wondered if it would be the last and felt good that he had been laughing minutes before.

That day was awful.  Not just for me, but for so many people.  I still find myself with a sense of anxiety when I think back to that day.  My family was one of the lucky and blessed families that heard from our loved one. We first heard tale from other survivors that Zack was ok, but in a situation like that you want to hear from your family member  yourself.  The next morning we finally received emails from him directly saying he and his then girlfriend were safe.  You can read the whole story here and here.

Anyways, I am just really reminded of the grief we were spared a year ago and reminded of what this weekend a year later could have been about.  My heart is sad for those who weren't like us.  The families who never heard from their loved one and never will again.  I pray today that God will comfort them and give them peace.  I can't pretend to know why things like this happen.  All I know is that we live in a fallen world where there is pain and suffering and heartache.  And I know God sees a picture that I do not see and never will.  I know that Revelation 21:4 says "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."  I pray that as a somber anniversary happens in Japan and throughout the world that God will wipe away those tears and that God will give them praise instead of weakness and joy instead of sorrow.  That lives would be celebrated and spirits would be lifted up.

Be thankful today and ever day bloggies, because you never know what could happen at any minute.

My Little Cake Boss

Last weekend was Arabelle's big 5th birthday extravaganza.  This year we had a fun "Cake Boss" themed party.  Arabelle loves The Cake Boss show.  She loves watching Buddy design cool cakes and work his pastry magic.  So we thought what better idea than to have her own little bake shop.

 

We all had a great time.  Decorating for the party was just as fun for me, I think.  Planning parties and getting all decorated is one of my favorite parts.  I used a lot of kitchen stuff to hold all of hte supplies.  I put my measuring cups to use to hold the markers and icing spreaders.  I used little Pampered Chef glass measuring cups to hold the icing tips.  I even put out some cleaned out icing containers to use to hold all of the tubes of icing.  

First the kiddos decorated aprons with fabric markers.  I found child size aprons at Hobby Lobby.  I did see some online when searching around, but price wise these weren't anymore expensive.  Then they sat down and decorated their little boxes to take their cupcakes home in. We just put markers out and stickers so the kids could use those.  Funny thing is, no one actually took a cupcake home.  I think they were all eaten way before anyone realized the box was to take the cupcake home in.  After that we got out the cupcakes and the kids got to decorate them.  We bought different kinds of sprinkles and icing.  We bought tubes of icing pre-made which worked well.  I think it was Wilton brand and then we bought the Wilton icing tips that screwed on to the tubes.  It worked really well.  The most popular topping by far were the little candy eyes.  I think my niece may have eaten about half of the container of eyes.  She was very into them!  

My little Lincoln Man was so serious about his coloring.

My mom made a cool picture frame for the kids to get their picture taken behind with their cupcakes.  This was such a fun birthday party.  This was our first foray into having planned activities during the party.  And I would say it was a huge success.  Normally the parties are a lot of running around and screaming and crazy stuff happening.  There was definitely a good 30-45 minutes of running and screaming and wanting parents to be zombies and eat their feet (I am not sure what that was about), but after that the kids were super into sitting down and getting started.  I would totally recommend this party to someone with a foodie kiddo.  You could do miniature cakes instead of cupcakes or little bunt cakes.  So there it is, happy 5th birthday to my little cake boss. 

Five Whole Years

Arabelle,

Today you turned five years old.  Five!!!  How is this possible?  Where has the time gone since you had the little baby voice in this video?  I watched you sleeping this morning in disbelief that another year had passed.  In disbelief that you are as big as you are, that you hold conversations, that you are as mature as you are and that you are who you are.  Life you with you is amazing.  This year has been a fun one for you.  You have learned to tell jokes, or your own version of jokes.  You have your first little pop star crush...a little Bieber fever.  (Although I am not sure you know what liking someone is all about since you also want to marry Lincoln.)  You have made us laugh until we cry.  You have taking a strong liking to posing like a model.  You also really like to dance.  You love deeply and are so passionate about everything.  You even are starting to tell your friends about God and how important it is that they know him and know he is our Father.

I am not going to lie, there are times when things are all sunshine and rainbows though.  You can make us work for it.  Sometimes the tears I cry aren't from a silly joke you told or when you walked in and said "Arabelle in da house", but from wondering how strong willed you can possibly be.  Which I am finding is very strong willed.  You know what you want that is for sure.  But in that you have grown so much this year.  You come and say you are sorry for things you do and are starting to understand repentance.  You want to pray about how you maybe yelled at us or didn't listen.  You are growing in such awesome and amazing ways.

I pray today and ever day that God blesses you in unimaginable ways.  I know that God has a purpose and vision for you that is far beyond any idea I have ever had or could imagine for your life.  He loves you and is proud of you, just as mommy and daddy love you and are proud of you.  We can't wait to see what this next year has for you.  Starting school is just one big thing I can think of.  I know you can't wait for that. 

Happy birthday Bo Bo Bear!  We love you!

Mommy

A New Year

With a new year knocking anxiously at our door, I am sure we are all reflecting and starting to think of what we would like to see over the next year. I am not a huge resolution fan.  I just haven't been one to make lots of resolutions over my life. This year though I think I can sum it all up in one...be more intentional.

This covers just about everything. Some of it seems obvious, like I have to intentionally eat more veggies otherwise I will avoid them like the plague. Other things roaming around in my head seem more vague and unclear on how to attain.

I know in this new year I want to intentionally seek after God more. I want to intentionally be more aware and thankful for all that God has given me and learn to find my fulfillment in that.

2012 is going to be a good year. Let's worry about tomorrow less and keep our eyes focused on God and what He has given us today.

Happy New Years bloggies!

Friendship

Last weekend we celebrated Thanksmas with some good friends. Oh you don't know what Thanksmas is? It's our combo Thanksgiving and Christmas get together. This was our fifth year of doing this. Let me tell you it is great. It is a wonderful time to laugh and have fun with friends we don't see that often. You should try it out.

This really got me thinking about friends and how important they are. As I get older I cling to that need of friendship more than ever. I am past the overwhelming number of friends most have in high school and college and have worked it down to the best really. The friends from Thanksmas are friends that go back to elementary school. These are people who I have been through good times and bad. Good times we still laugh till it hurts about...hungry like the wolf anyone? Bad times that we can't remember what even made them bad in the first place. And bad times that still hurt when we think about them. The best part is that we can go months without seeing eachother and it is as if no time has passed. We can talk about our successes, our failures, our dreams and our age and know that the others understand. We lapse right into making plans for our next dinner and make plans to get away from it all. These are people to hang on to.

I am definitely not saying new friends aren't great because they are just as fabulous and just as precious. Friends come into our lives and we have an option of cultivating that relationship and letting people in or we can avoid it. My opinion is let 'em in.  One day you will long for friends and relationships. One day you may want or need people to stand by you to celebrate or mourn or just to be there. Don't pass up those opportunities now, bloggies. And remember it isn't too late to start new traditions and to make good excuses to get together.

The Beast

Good morning bloggies!

So if you missed it we got a dog about four weeks ago, maybe it was five.  Anyways, her name is Apple.  She is a basset hound and beagle mix.  She's super cute and growing like crazy.  So what is the downside???  She's a wild beast!!  Seriously!  She is wreaking havoc on our house and the kids.  Someone I work with got a puppy a while back and I heard she would say she had to go home to release the kraken, when she was talking about the pup.  I laughed at the time and thought "It's just a puppy."  Now I find myself thinking...."RELEASE THE KRAKEN!"

So maybe you aren't familiar with a kraken, so here's a description I found on monsters.com. (Yeah there is a website called monsters.com...no I have never visited it prior to this.)

"Probably no legendary creature was as horrifying as the Kraken, a giant sea monster. According to stories this huge, many armed, creature looked like an island when motionless and could reach as high as the top of a sailing ship's main mast with its arms deployed. 
When the Kraken attacked a ship, it wrapped its arms around the hull and capsize it. The crew would drown or be eaten by the monster. Kraken were mostly noticed  in the seas of Scandinavia. Fishermen said that huge amounts of fishs gravitate around Kraken and the boat that succeeds to fish around the monster without awaking it will take more than possible to carry aboard."

So maybe it's a bit dramatic to say that Apple is horrifying because I can still pick her up. Though, it does seem possible that she could bring a whole ship down.  No...maybe not.  Ok maybe she is just a puppy.  Her biting and wild tenancies will  eventually calm down.  I mean she is a good portion basset hounds.  Basset hounds usually don't have too much pep to their step.  And it would probably help if my kids didn't turn themselves in to walking chew toys by running and screeching at the dog.  She just can't help but try to chew on them then.  She also spends a lot of time barking at Waffles, our rabbit.  It's not in a, I want to eat you kind of way.  It's more of a please come play with me type bark.  Eventually Apple will learn that Waffles does not want under any circumstances want to play with her or anyone else for that matter.  He just wants to eat and hop around and chew on things. 

Any suggestions??  This is the first dog I have owned on my own and needed to train.  I have several books on training dogs and have been reading online, but I just can't figure out the best plan of attack.  I know several of you have dogs.  How did you do it?  Is this just normal?

Pumpkin Oh Pumpkin

Hello there bloggies!

I hope you are having a great week and enjoying the last weeks of Fall.  Did you have a nice Halloween?  Did you eat way too much candy??  Carve pumpkins?  We did a bit of all of the above!  We carved some awesome pumpkins.

We usually are just the kind of people who wing it with the pumpkin carving, but this year we decided to be fancy and try out the template thing.  While it was work....I am not going to lie, the end result was worth it.  Next year I may not pick one with so many curves.  That or I may look up better ways on carving those curves out. 

Then as all good pumpkin carvers should, we toasted up our pumpkin seed.  Yummy!  This is one of my favorite things to do after carving pumpkins.  There's actually a pumpkin on the porch that has been unscathed due to Arabelle painting it.  I am tempted to break into that baby and steal those seed. 

And keeping with the fancy theme for the year we weren't to just have plain jane pumpkin seeds.  Oh no.  We spiced these babies up.  I tossed them in olive oil and salt and roasted them in the oven in three batches.  The first was plain for tradition sake.  The second was smothered in cayenne pepper.  And the final batch was covered in pumpkin pie spice.  They were so yummy and smelled so good. 

Mmmm....I have to go.  I hear that pumpkin calling me...I think it's asking me to please remove it's seeds!

Down the Rabbit Hole

 You may or may not know that we have a house rabbit. His name is Waffles Nicholas. He's cool and big and possibly the softest thing I have ever felt. We rescued Waffles from the animal shelter in April. (rescued sounds way more noble than just adopted) It was a way spur of the moment deal. But what a great choice. He is litterbox trained, so he just runs around the house and let's us pet him...sometimes. He does a lot of hiding under the dining room table. That is his little or not so little rabbit hole.  Once the kids are in bed he comes out and runs around and rubs against our legs.  The kids are a little scary to him I think.  Especially Lincoln, he swings his arms around a lot and runs at him.

Here is what I have learned about rabbits since we got him:

1. Rabbits teeth constantly grow, so they have to chew to wear them down.
2. He likes to appear really vicious.
3. Rabbits shed every 3 or 4 months, every other time is like a huge loss of hair. (I read about one rabbit that gets almost naked.)
4. A rabbit cleaning its ears is incredibly cute.
5. I am very concerned about how Sharp a rabbits teeth actually are.
6. A rabbit will find and eat or chew up anything and everything.
7. Rabbits are super fun to watch.

I just wanted to share because Waffles is beginning to shed...his second shedding since got him. This time I won't stress he is dying and that somehow we killed him. Now I know better.
Also we just got a puppy. She is a bassett hound and beagle mix. Her name is Apple Sally. Arabelle like to pick out middle names. She is also awesome! We are now a family of 6.
Have a nice weekend bloggies!

Time Out

I sent myself to time out tonight.  That's right.  The kids were yelling, Ryan was gone, the house was a mess....I went to time out.  I felt myself crumbling a little.  And no one wants a crumbly mom. 

Some days it's all I can do to make it through the day.  Thankfully those days are rare, but they happen.  Some days a glass of wine sounds way better than it probably should. 
Some days I feel I might pull my hair out. 

Some days my girl snuggles up next to me and falls asleep and my heart melts.  I forget all about pulling my hair out. 
Some days my little man looks up and and says "Wuv You" and I start to cry because he can talk and I understand him, which means time is passing and it shouldn't do that.

Some days I worry too much about my dirty house and wonder what happened to the time. 

Some days I play with my babies and forget all about the house I am in...clean or dirty.

I love those kids more than words can describe.  Even when I wonder if I can ship them off...not that I have ever thought that.  Maybe I have...once...or twice.  They are a blessing I couldn't have imagined for myself.   They are teaching me how to be a stronger person and through them I am learning to be a better Christian.  I am learning more about God and His love for us.  I pray that continues and I can adequately teach my children that love.  I hope they see the Holy Spirit in me, working. 

Have a nice night bloggies!

Chicago!

Happy weekend bloggies!

We have had a nice relaxing week this last week.  We were on vacation and had a good time not having too many plans.  The one big thing we did do was drive my brother and his wife to the airport...in Chicago.  So it's like a four hour drive.  But what it meant was a day-cation for us.  We drove up on Wednesday evening and the four of us stayed at a hotel.  Then we were up and at 'em Thursday morning to get Zack and Georgia to the airport.  We sure will miss them.  We got kind of used to having them and their cute faces around.

Once they were safely dropped off and situated at the airport we made our way downtown.  Which took about 45 minutes to drive the 6.5 miles.  Yuck!  But hey it's part of a city right?  So we made our way to the parking garage that we had mapped out and came recommended by my cousin Robin.  We were trying so hard to get there before 10AM because they have an early bird special which makes it only $14 to park for the whole day.  Guess what time we arrived????  10:02!!!!!  Two minutes!!  So we paid $10 more to park for the day.  Bummer!  But it was still cheaper than a lot of other parking we had looked into.

See I have a hard time on vacations because I am so torn in what I want to do.  Everything in me wants to relax and have no plan and just rest....but then there is this overwhelming need to have every minute planned and to rush around and see everything there is to see.  Anyone else like that?  So when we were deciding if it was time to go home or not, I was starting to feel stressed because we hadn't seen and experienced EVERYTHING the city has to offer.  (As if that were possible in one day.)  So sometimes I just have to put myself in check and remember the things we did and how nice it was to not truly have an agenda. 

Awesome things we did while were in Chicago are as follows....
* Saw the Bean!!  Heck yeah!  I mean you have to see it.  It was super fun and of course we took pictures of our reflections in it. 

* Met up with our tour guide Krista.  Ok, Krista wasn't our tour guide.  Krista is a long lost friend...maybe she was never lost.  But it has been like 10+ years since we have seen each other.  And it was fabulous to see her and talk.  It's great to have a friend that so much time can pass and you can sit down and start chatting like you just shared a chai tea the day before.  Which we did chat this time over the most amazing iced chai tea ever.  I am dreaming about it....there might be a homemade chai tea post coming up.

* Saw Crown Fountain.  Yeah it's pretty sweet.  I would love to take the kiddos back in the summer so we they can play it. 

* Saw the huge Marilyn Monroe statue.  It's so big and life like!  I mean really...you can even see little veins in her legs.

* Had an amazing salad at the Water Tower mall. 

* Made our way to the Contemporary Art Museum, but ended up not paying to go in.  A couple of the exhibits were closed and so it just didn't seem worth the money. 

That is just about it for the major sights.  Other than that we walked a lot and just took in the city.  We were only there about 4 hours.  I know it really wasn't that long, but we were tired from all of the driving and knew we still had a 4-5 hour trip home.  Overall it was a great trip.  Ryan and I had some nice time alone together and we got to enjoy the company of a wonderful friend and chai tea that dreams are made of. 

We did walk past the Apple store while we were downtown. There were flowers and cards sat outside in honor of Steve Jobs.  If you didn't know, while we were gone Steve Jobs passed away.  It's interesting how sad I actually feel about his passing.  While driving to Chicago after I read the announcement from Apple, we discussed our first computer experiences and how much has changed.  We are all Mac people and will never ever stray.  It's sad to see a great person of our time pass away.  I mean there are lots of ways he wasn't great I am sure, but in some senses he changed a lot.  It's weird to think my kids will never know life without computers or iPods of some variation or some amazing iPhone/smart phone variation.  This is all in part to Steve Jobs, but he definitely played a role in this and for many reasons he will be greatly missed.

Because this is the kind of people we are...the kind that make funny faces at cameras.

It's been a wonderful week off.  The weather has been amazing for a random week in October.  Who would have known that it would rain a drop and it would be in the mid 70's to 80's.  Well we are off to enjoy the last couple days we have that don't have an agenda or time schedule.  Right now I am going to finish my iced coffee and watch Lincoln man try to not fall asleep on the floor.  

Wedding Bliss

Happy Monday!

A little over a week ago my little brother got married.  He and his beautiful wife Georgia said I do. The wedding was in Brown County at an old farm.  There is a pretty farm house that has been remodeled and a nice finished barn with pretty landscape and all.  The ceremony itself was originally planned to be held outside in front of a big tree that had a cute swing hanging from it.  Unfortunately the weather had different plans.  We held off all day through little rain drops and lots of clouds, hoping for that outdoor wedding, and finally at 5:00pm when the wedding was scheduled to start at 5:30pm we decided to move the wedding inside due to the pouring down rain.  So we packed it all up and moved it in.  It was a nice intimate setting with the ceremony and reception all in the same area.  It was a beautiful, relaxing and wonderful time.  I think that they had a fabulous wedding and a nice time.  And as someone put it during the open toast, we hope that their life together isn't nearly as eventful as their dating relationship in Japan.  If you aren't familiar with the story you can read it here and here.  Or you can even find a little bit of it on CNN.

Here are some details from the day...and my beautiful girl. 

And of course the handsome groom and his lovely bride...

I couldn't have pictured a better day for my brother.  And I couldn't have dreamed up a better wife.  She is beautiful and sweet and perfect for him.  Their eyes just light up looking at each other.  I pray that they light up when they see each other for the rest of their lives.  I pray that their love only grows stronger and the joy they felt last weekend grows daily. 

I hope you enjoyed the pictures from their wedding.  I know we enjoyed it and loved being able to celebrate with them. Now they are off for a new adventure. They leave this week to move to New Zealand.  Well Zack is moving and Georgia is just heading home.  They will also have a second wedding there to celebrate with Georgia's family and friends.  How lucky they are to have TWO weddings!  For someone who loves to plan and decorate, I would be beside myself with excitement! 

We will miss them so much, but love them and can't wait to hear all about all of their new exciting happenings....and hopefully we don't hear about anything else in their life from CNN...or MSNBC...or Fox News....you get the picture!

Have a wonderful week bloggies!!

DIY Christmas Tradition

Hello there,

Since the weather is starting cool down and things are beginning to look a lot like fall, I have been thinking about Christmas.  I know, I am jumping way ahead.  It just happened.  I think it's from years of stores putting out things way too early.  I am pretty sure Hobby Lobby is already marking their Christmas decor and setting up for St. Patrick's Day. 

Anyways, last year while making nifty ornaments during craft time with Mary, I had an idea.  Maybe we, as a family, could make new ornaments for our tree every year. Yes lots of work, but what a fun tradition. Then we could donate the ornaments the next year.  I figured I could set a couple back from the bunches each year for Arabelle and Lincoln.  Then by the time they move out on their own they will have a good set of ornaments to decorate their first trees with.  What do you think?? 

Since I am seriously addicted to Pinterest right now, I have been looking at loads of crafty fun projects.  This is by no means limited to Christmas, but here are some super fun items I have found.

Like this sweet wreath, I mean how cute and you could so do this for just about any season:

Two Junk Chix

How about this cute tree idea I found on Pinterest:

And how precious is this?

 

 

 

Craft Rookie

I know not many ornament ideas, but I am still in the planning stages here folks.  Well I have to get up early for a track meet.  Yep, I am running in a track meet.  Have I mentioned I am 28 and not some amazing professional or Olympic athlete. I mean sometimes when I am dreaming I am...sometimes.  Nope my work participates in this Corporate Challenge thing every year.  Pretty fun actually.  So I am off to rest up so I am good and speedy in the morning. 

Wish me luck bloggies!

Victory!!

I am going to go ahead and say it...step out in faith and declare a victory.  A little over two weeks ago Ryan and I declared a war against our toddler.  We decided to reclaim captured territory and take back what is our God given right.  Ok that may be a bit much and I am not sure it's a God given right, however we took back our bedroom, we took back the night!

Ready for war!

A year ago when we sold our condo we hadn't closed on our house yet, so we moved in with family.  While our families were super gracious and we are super thankful for the opening of their homes once again to us, it threw our little girly's schedule into a serious tailspin.  I should really say there was an overall lack of schedule and that was the problem.  We were all, but Lincoln, in the same room and basically rising and going to sleep at the same time.  Once we settled into our own home, where Arabelle has a wonderfully purple room, she refused to sleep there.  It was as if World War III had broken out on nights that we tried to make her sleep in there.  And thus in our weakness we just continued to let her sleep in our room on the floor as an act of avoidance.  It was our peace treaty.

Then a couple of weeks ago we decided we wanted our own time.  I mean we should have that right?  Just an hour or two with no kiddos asking questions.  Some time to talk or not to talk to each other.  So we just buckled down and prepared ourselves for the oncoming war.  But you know what??  It wasn't so bad.  She maybe had one night where she was upset and we were upset and it seemed hope was lost...maybe not lost...just fading...or hiding in the midst of the toddler tantrum. She has overall done amazing!  She is sleeping in there every night and doesn't scream or cry when it's time.  Granted getting her to sleep in there has a long list of requirements ranging from a fan blowing on her face, to a cup of water in her play kitchen, to lastly but certainly not least having the Glee soundtrack playing.  (She likes the Glee soundtrack and who am I to argue?)  An added bonus of her sleeping in there is that for four consecutive nights she has slept all the way through the night and hasn't tried to come back into our room at some crazy hour when everyone should be sleeping.  This is definitely a bonus because we had resigned ourselves to her coming in between 12 and 3 in the morning and that would just be the way it was for a while.

I am so proud of my girl.  She is growing up and learning to be just a little more independent.  I don't want her to be too independent...I still like to snuggle with her and hold her little hand as much as I can.  I love that girl!  She is a gift from God and is teaching us every day what it means to be a parent.  She may do things with a little more spunk and a little more fight, but that is just how God intended her to be.  I think it will serve her well one day.

I am also very proud of us. We stood our ground and made it happen.  We took back our time together and we are loving it.  We are actually getting to read books and talk about our days and catch up on TV shows that can't be watched when there is a four year old roaming around.  We get to be a husband and wife again and not just parents....we get us time. We love it!

Stand strong today bloggies, in whatever it is that you have been avoiding facing.  Stand strong!

Ten Years

This weekend we remember the events that took place ten years ago on September 11, 2001.  Like many I find myself reflecting on these tragedies and where we are.  We stop and remember where we were, what we were doing and how we felt.  I am sure for many who are older than I am, you have these same sentiments over other major events....John Kennedy's assassination, Martin Luther King Jr's death or even Pearl Harbor....well really depending on your age for that. 

For my life and my age, I am only 28, this has really been one of the biggest things I have ever experienced.  And especially at an age that I was aware of what was going on and the potential ramifications for my life. 

Ten years ago I was living in an apartment on Lincoln Street with Angie and Erin.  I was a freshman in college up getting ready for class.  Erin called me out to the living room to see what was happening.  If I remember correctly I got out there and realized what was happening just in time for the second plane to hit.  It was a scary and uncertain day.  I remember wondering exactly what this meant for us as a country.  I cried for the people who lost their lives; I cried for their families.

Ten years later looking at pictures, I still cry.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  Yet it wasn't.  It was ten years.  In ten years, I started dating Ryan, we got married, I got pregnant and had Arabelle, survived having my first newborn, got pregnant again and had Lincoln.  So much has changed and so much time has passed.  I look at those images and wonder how I can explain 9/11 to my children.  I think what has saved us from having to figure this out this year is that we don't have cable or satellite.  We have Netflix and that's it.  So no September 11th specials in our house, not this year anyways. If we did, I am confident we would be searching for the words to explain to Arabelle what happened.  Trying to find the good in a horrible situation, reminding  her of God's love and protection.  For now though I think we are good for another year.  She can remain innocent of some of life's horrors for a little while longer. 

In the meantime, I pray she and Lincoln never face a day like September 11th.  I pray they never face that uncertainty.  Mostly though when I am realistic, I pray that they will turn to God in that time that will inevitably come.  I pray they place their hope in God and seek him above all else, even when it seems the world has suddenly stopped turning for a moment. 

Love you bloggies, be comforted today.

More Than Just a Place

Good morning bloggies,

A few years ago in a magazine called Real Simple, in a section where they pose a question and readers weigh in, they asked "What does home mean to you?"  I loved this simple question and people's responses.  None of them were basic as in it's that place I go to after work and wake up in the morning at.  They were all more thoughtful.

So I started thinking about this to myself and realized for me...

Home is my family....
Home is intertwining my fingers with Arabelle or Lincoln's little fingers....
Home is snuggling up next to Ryan...
Home is where I can eat a big bowl of ice cream while drinking a glass of wine without judgement....
Home is where we laugh and cry and stay together forever....
Home is way more than just a place....


So let's hear it, what does home mean to you? 

Lincoln Man

On August 6th my little Lincoln man turned two.  We love this little man so much.  He has rocked my world.  He has a tender heart, is sweet, funny and oh so loving.  Lincoln has surprised us in so many ways.  We can't imagine life without him.  What's even more fun is seeing how he and Arabelle interact.  And seeing their differences and similarities.  I don't so much care for the trouble they get into together, but I guess that's part of it.  I can't believe he is two and that he's growing and talking and loving on us as much as we love on him.  I pray daily for him to be a man after God's own heart, I pray for his future family and friends, I pray that he always knows the Lord.  I hope that we are doing a good job of showing Lincoln God and that God uses us to help Lincoln grow. 

We had Lincoln's big circus birthday party last weekend and it was a hit.  Unfortunately after weeks and weeks of barely any rain it would rain on his birthday...trapping us inside.  So much for those games.  I guess it's good we didn't go over the top on the outdoor game thing.  I think we still had a great time though.  Lincoln was totally uninterested in opening presents.  Luckily he has his big sister to open his gifts for him. He didn't care other than for the soccer ball, basketball and form of ball.  For two years now that is all he has wanted.  He was born wanting some sort of ball to throw.  Who knows what that will all develop into.  Enjoy the pictures.

Now I am off to figure out how to get blue nail polish out of our new carpet...yes the trouble they get into.  I am pretty sure this one was instigated by the older one though.  Any suggestions on the clean up???

Have a great weekend!

Changes

Hey there bloggies,

I don't have much to report on the home front today.  We had Lincoln's big Circus bash yesterday which was wonderful.  Pictures will come soon, I promise!! 

I was looking at pictures though from just over a  year ago and looking at faces in those pictures and thinking oh my how things changed in that time.  A year used to seem like forever, but as I get older tiem is going more and more quickly.  Then you look back and realize all of the wonderful things and hard things and time consuming things that have happened and you remember that a year really is kind of a long time.

I came across pictures of our wonderful friends who live in Switzerland.  They were home for a visit following a crazy bicycle accident, just the two of them.  Fabulously enough they have multiplied and became three.  It took some time for that to happen...about 40+ weeks to be exact. They are now super proud parents of a beauty of a girl named Priska.  And wow is she beautiful!  One day I will get to hold her yummy chubby baby hand...I am sure it will happen. 

Then there are pictures of my Lincoln man, just crawling and rolling around.  Now he runs up and down the stairs and jumps and yells.  He tells me he misses me and says thank you.  Wow, how did he grow up so quickly?? 

In these pictures, we are moving out of our condo.  Our first owned home.  We now live in much bigger house.  We actually have enough bedrooms and a fenced in back yard.  Some things are still in boxes, but we are surviving just fine.  Maybe some of those things never need to be unpacked...maybe they can go straight to Goodwill.  Or we will just get there when we get there. In the meantime, we are happy and love having the space to sprawl out.

Then there are pictures of my handsome brother.  Pictures at his going away party.  He's packing up his belongings about to embark on a little trip to Japan to work.  I can't believe that was only a year ago!!  I mean really all of the things that have happened.  I am amazed.  There was a small earthquake which freaked us and him out.  Then just a couple short days later one of the biggest earthquakes ever recorded happens followed up by one of the biggest tsunamis ever.  Hours of no contact and stress and worry and prayers and love.  Now he is back home in Indiana with his fiance, the beautiful Georgia.  Which may I say she truly is beautiful and super nice and I am super excited she is going to be my sister-in-law.  All Arabelle could say was "She is so beautiful!"  And Lincoln well he calls her George.  So you take what you can get there. 

In a year, your world can change.  Your heart can break and be put back together. Your belongings can increase, be lost, be boxed up and or unpacked unpacked.  You grow and mature in ways you probably thought weren't possible or never imagined.  God shapes you and molds you to the person he always knew you could be and will be.  God is still perfecting us everyday and every year that go by, don't lose sight of that.  Sometimes when you think not much has happened or that time is going so quickly.  Take a look back and remember all that truly happened.

And because everyone should remember what fun a Lincoln Log set is I shared our pictures.  We really do take pictures of everything....We had to document our success at figuring it out.  It's not as easy as you might think.

Have a nice evening loves!

Thoughts...

Hello there,

I know this is two in one day, but I needed to talk through some things.  :-)

In the last week or so Lincoln Man turned 2, I turned 28 and I had an actual conversation with Arabelle on the phone where she told me she missed me and asked legitimate questions about my day that were relevant to conversations that had actually taken place.  In all of this, I have felt a little sad.  My munchkins are growing up.  I keep thinking of Lincoln and Arabelle the first times I held them.  How their pudgy little faces looked eerily like me from the get go.  How their little hands clutched just one of my fingers.  How I carried them around and watched their every move.  I feel like they are growing up way too fast.  And I feel like I am missing out somehow on that.  I work full time and find myself longing to be able to just be a stay at home mommy. And maybe I am failing them because I am not staying home. I feel like if I am working maybe I should at least be doing my "dream" job...even though I still don't know what that is after years of contemplation.  I feel like maybe I should be more.  Whatever more is. 

I am reading a book called Bittersweet right now and it has me thinking.  A lot of the stories the author describes, ring true in various ways for me.  I just read a chapter about trying to do everything all the time.  The author explained how she loves to make lists and how she once added to her list "DO EVERYTHING BETTER".  She then went on to break down each word and how awful that was to say.  But it made me wonder how often to I find myself in the same thoughts...I may not write it down, but I am there.  I literally want to do everything better.  I feel a need to be a better mom, a better wife, a better employee, a better Christian, a better cook, a better everything.  Really??????  It's like dreaming the impossible dream about every little thing.  She explains in the book how she has started to learn to make a list of the things "I do" and the things "I don't do" and then reminds herself of these when she starts to feel that addiction to being everything creeping in. 

And it really does creep in.  It's not like you wake up in the morning and suddenly think I have to do and be everything everyone at all times today.  It starts small I think and then grows, kind of like a disease or an infection.  If you leave it unattended suddenly that list of things you wanted to do better has suddenly encompassed every aspect of your life. 

I need to remember that I am right where God has placed me.  Maybe I was created for such a time as this...just like Esther.  Maybe a little dramatic, but in honesty God is the creator of every aspect of my life.  He put the Earth into motion and created the stars, if he wanted me to be in a different place wouldn't he make that happen?  The truth is, I don't stay at home, I don't keep my house spotless 85% of the time, I don't always finish projects, I don't have dinner on the table when Ryan walks in, I don't make our bed every day, I don't always put away laundry and I don't have nicely manicured fingernails and toenails.  I do however, love my kids and my husband more than I could have imagined loving anyone, I do read lots of books, I do teach my kids all that I can, I do pray for my family, I do love God, I do have a good job where I work with lots of people who feel like family, I do love to bake and do it well (I think), I do like to start lots of artsy projects and I do love to listen to a variety of music and dance around with my munchkins.  I know there are lots more things I do and things I don't.  But for now, I am learning that every moment with my kids is precious. God has blessed me with those moments and I pray he continues to bless me with those moments.  I pray that through those moments, we bring glory to God in every way.  I pray that in those moments I can teach them about God and that hey would grow up in His ways and always be followers of God.  I know they are growing up fast, but that's the way God made it.  Maybe if I spent less time focusing on how I can do everything better and be everything, they wouldn't seem to be growing up so fast.  Maybe time might slow down just a little. 

I will probably still wish I could stay at home, but I know not everyone does.  My mom wasn't always at home with us, she too worked.  And you know looking back I don't remember longing for her to have been a stay at home mom.  I don't really remember daycare that much.  Just bits and pieces of different things.  What I do remember is the first time I ever made pancakes with my mom, I remember making homemade peanut butter, I remember going to the park and going to the pool with her.  I remember those precious moments.  I am sure it will be the same with my kids.  I am praying for contentment and learning as I go.  Today I will remember that I am right where God wants me.  He created me for a purpose and it isn't to do everything better.

And to close it up I just wanted to share my lovely babes with you.

You know she still sleeps like that sometimes...mouth open all flopped out.

And have you ever seen anything so precious.  I love his little face.

This is a long one....Part Two

Ok so on with the show....this is the best part I think.

Zack finally got to come home in June for a quick visit.  By quick I mean like 9 or 10 days.  We were super excited to see him and super excited to hear all of his good news.  If I tell you I will ruin his story telling skills.  And since I think he can tell this much better than I could ever re-create so I am going to just share his email...with his permission of course.  :-)

----------------------------- From Zack

Hello friends!

So....I did it! I proposed, and it was a success! I had a good solid 28 hours worth of traveling with very little sleep to try and think of a way to romantically propose. I had thought of trying to have a romantic dinner set-up on the beach; surprising George with flowers, candlelight, and a personalized song as she walked in the door from work, or trying to take Georgia to this nice overlook in Kuji to watch the lunar eclipse, etc. etc. etc. But as I pulled into the train station in Ninohe, I couldn't help but feel like those were rather stereo-typical proposals and that I was driving myself insane trying to think of the "perfect" way to ask Georgia to marry me. I had those 28 hours to think of something "special" in yet nothing I came up with felt that way and then all of the sudden like a bolt of lightening it hit me how incredibly special and unique our relationship already is. I guess I have just been so wrapped up in my thoughts lately I have been unable to fully appreciate the truly romantic nature of our relationship and story and the settings in which it has developed. I mean I was riding on a bullet-train over the mountains and through the back country of northern Japan, pulling into a station bathed in Moonlight from the full-moon and cloud free starry sky above me, with the woman of my dreams and mother of my unborn child standing on the platform in excited anticipation of my arrival. What could possibly be a more romantic setting than that? I realized then and there as the train was coming to a stop that I needed to stop trying to be something I wasn't and just be the hopeless romantic I know I am and revel in the moment. 

As I hopped off the train and passed my ticket to the conductor, he smiled and slightly motioned his head towards the direction of Georgia (the only other foreigner in sight) as if he were trying to say to me "Go boy, she`s been waiting." As I walked to Georgia I could see the impatience beginning to grow in her as she could barely stand still; her feet tapping, her body swaying to and fro. I walked through the gates and just peered over her and felt my heart begin to flutter; it was as if I was looking at her for the very first time again. She stood there with her hair in adorable, Shirley Temple-esque curls, a black silky top, and a bright blue skirt. As I was finally in grabbing distance she ran and grabbed me and hugged me so tight that my suitcases literally fell from my hands. We told each other how much we had missed the other and I promised to never leave her again.

From there we began walking to the car, hand in hand, as I shared my stories of America. The weather was amazing that night; it was a cool crisp evening, with a completely cloudless sky and a big full Moon above. It wasn't until I was finally off the train and out of the station that I was able to completely take in the amazing weather. As we neared the car I felt like I never wanted that moment to end. I began stumbling about my words as I told Georgia "I have something I want to give you before we get in the car." She grumbled about it being cold and I told her it was worth it. I literally lunged to take my backpack off as I began searching through its contents for the ring I had bought just a few short days ago. Once my hands found the smooth black box in which it was resting within, I grabbed Georgias hand pulled her close to me. I told her again, for perhaps the 1,000th time how much I had missed her and told her I couldn't bear being away from her for that long ever again. Then, I pulled the box from my bag and assumed the proposal position on one knee as Georgia gasped upon the realization of what was happening. Then I opened the box; the moon and bright stars made the ring sparkle and dance in the dark parking lot. I told Georgia that she is my one and true love and that she is the romantic I have longed for my entire life for, then I asked her to marry me, which she very quickly said "Yes, Yes, Of Course!"

So there you have it! The complete proposal! I woke up the next day wondering if I had rushed the proposal, but as soon as I saw Georgia's hand and the ring on it I knew I had done the right thing. She is going to make a beautiful bride, and even greater wife and best friend. I am so incredibly blessed to have her in my life, and I am equally as blessed to have such an amazing and supportive family such as all of you.

Love,
Zack
----------------------------------------

So there it is!  Wonderful right??  I am getting a new sister-in-law and a new niece or nephew!  What a huge blessing.  God is so good and so amazing and his blessings are never ending.  Through all of this, I think my brother will be a stronger man and husband and father.  I am sure he has learned a lot about himself in this short time.  I can't wait to be a new Aunt and sister in law!

It was hard to see Zack leave again, but I know he is where he belongs with Georgia.  This is what was meant to be for him.  God had a plan and knew what was best.  It may have been a different road getting there, but he got there in the end.  

Thanks for listening to my long long story.  I just couldn't hold it all in any longer!

Love you all!

Amber

This is a long one...Part One

Just FYI this is going to be a long post.  I don't think there is any way around it.  Just have stuff to get off my chest and figured I would share it.  :-)

I have been thinking a lot about my little brother lately, Zacky Poo.  He is going through a lot of major change in his life right now.  Well really he's gone through a lot of change in the last 10 months or so.  Last August we all gathered and tearfully said goodbye as Zack left to move a universe away to Japan.  He left us for Kuji City, Iwate with a two year contract through a teaching program to work with the schools in the area teaching English.  We prayed for a safe trip there and that he would be happy.  He was gone a short time and came home for Christmas.  Again we said a tearful goodbye, but new he was happy there.  He had made friends, gotten settled and now had a girlfriend, Georgia.  His overall safety in Japan never crossed our minds.  Japan is a major world power after all.  It's not a third world country nor is it war stricken and even more so the crime there isn't what we see here.  He seemed safe and happy.

Then on March 11th came that call that no one wants to get.  It's the middle of the night, way to early phone call.  The one that you immediately know something isn't right because people don't call at those times to say they got a new puppy or are getting married or are having a baby.  They wait until reasonable hours to do those things.   No this was my mom, a little before 6:00AM, calling to say that we needed to get up and start praying that there had been a horrible earthquake and tsunami in Japan and that they couldn't reach Zack.  We had no idea if he was ok.  I jumped up shaking and got Ryan and ran to our computer.  (We don't have cable or satellite so no news channels.)  I pulled up MSNBC and found the most devastating and scary pictures one might see when your loved one is potentially in the middle of that.  The first headline was "Nuclear Emergency Declared in Japan" and below it were pictures of fires and rubble that was unrecognizable.  There was video after video of this enormous "wave" of water inundating these towns and cities that line the coast.  Unfortunately, my knowledge of Japan was so minimal it was so hard to tell where things were and what was going on.  All I knew was there had been a 9.0 earthquake (one of the largest in history) and a tsunami that was recorded in some areas as high as 30 feet or more.  High enough to demolish some 2 and 3 story buildings, strong enough to move entire houses, it picked up cars and put them on top of large buildings, tore families apart and devastated a country.  This is where my brother was.  Somewhere in the midst of this.  My heart felt like it was failing me.  How could this be happening??

We immediately called on friends and family to begin praying for safety and that we would hear something soon.  If I have ever been thankful for social networking it was at that moment.  I was able to post my prayer needs and within minutes I had so many people joining with my family in prayer.  It was an awesome thing.  Somehow we all pulled ourselves together enough to go to work that day.  Although we spent a majority of it checking the news, calling each other and emailing search and rescue through the US Embassy that had been set up.  It wasn't until that evening that we got word in a round about way that my brother was ok.  He was alive, but had set off on foot to the town where Georgia lives which would usually be a short drive away.  The stress continued for all of us not know about her safety and whereabouts and Zack's continued safety.  We hadn't actually heard directly from him and unfortunately in situations of this magnitude communications are wrong and people are misidentified.  The next morning we all received emails from Zack that he was safe and after 20 hours of hiking and trying he found Georgia also safe.

This is something we never in a million years thought we would have had to go through.  The concern and fear I felt over this, I am sure I have never felt before.  I didn't sleep well for weeks.  It seems that just hearing he was safe wasn't good enough.  It took several weeks for me to stop checking online for aftershocks and checking the US Embassy's website to make sure they weren't ordering an evacuation.  Even now, I still check on the size of aftershocks from time to time. Because they still continue, just yesterday there was a 6.7 aftershock or earthquake. 

The country is cleaning up and things are turning back around.  Their bravery and the way the Japanese people handled themselves is amazing.  I watched the news and read stories and was amazed at the way they handled themselves in the face of disaster.  I am not so sure the same would happen here.  While I would like to say that there wouldn't be looting or crime here, I am not so sure.  I am so proud of my brother.  He has grown up so much.  He isn't really my baby brother anymore.  I would say he's officially a man.  I am proud of who he has become.  He has gone through more in his young lifetime than most will go through in their whole life.  We love him very much.

Through this I was reminded of how important it is to lean on God.  To rely on Him as our comforter and provider, the one who brings peace.  I know that he is in control through the good times and the bad. I think more importantly I am trying to remember that God is worthy to be praised even in those horribly uncertain times.  The times where it seems like things are falling apart or that there is no good happening, I have to remember that God is in control and he has a plan.  If God knows the number of stars and has given each one a name (Psalm 147:4), how can he not know and have control of the details of my life or my family?  I continue to pray for peace and for comfort for the families in Japan and throughout the world who weren't as blessed as we where.  The ones who waited for word that never came.  I pray that they will feel God's overwhelming love and know that he is the one providing it.

You can still donate money towards Japan relief.  Here are a couple links if you want to:

www.redcross.org
www.shelterbox.org (you can't specify Japan here, but it's a cool organization)